These are some funny quotes I've found... Will add more as time goes on... Enjoy :-D
"Flying is learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss." - Douglas Adams
When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did,
in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.
If you die in an elevator, be sure to push the Up button.
Energizer Bunny arrested, charged with battery.
What you call dog with no legs?
Don't matter what you call him, he ain't gonna come.
Son, employees are like mules. Some you stand in front of and coax them along
with a carrot. Some you stand behind and kick them in the ass. The key to managemeant
is knowing which mules are which.
Son, if you really want something in this life, you have to work for it. Now quiet!
They're about to announce the lottery numbers. - Homer Simpson
"One of the great things about books is sometimes there are some fantastic
pictures." -George W. Bush
"Fragile. Do not drop." -- Posted on a Boeing 757